This final year of university is going to break me. It’s just the bet what it will be first, mentally or physically.
I feel like I am drowning; lost in a continual tidal wave of decisions and essays and stress. More than once, I have burst into tears, feeling like this whole university lifestyle is closing in on me, and burning up all the air that I have left.
Not only is there a dissertation to write, there are 6 other modules, volunteering, part time jobs, and all the social drama that goes hand in hand with university life. As I write this, a huge pile of books are lying on my bed, trying to guilt trip with their philosophical theories that I have not yet read.
All I want to do is run away. If I could, I would take a taxi to the train station and just go anywhere. I would get on any train that could take me away from all this pressure. This pressure that has just suddenly appeared in my life, like a random rainstorm on a summer’s day. My thoughts are continually consumed with the future, and like the Basilisk in Harry Potter, I am too scared to look it in the eye.
But the harsh reality of life is that we cannot run away. The world doesn’t work like that.
So instead of running away, I am going to put on my big girl boots, and walk towards my fear, what is the worst that can happen? The only person that is creating pressure is us; we stress ourselves to the point of breaking, and I am struggling to find a sensible reason why. University is stressful, that is a given, but I can guarantee that as much as you try and convince yourself that you can’t do something, whether it is an essay or a decision, you honestly can.
Every once in a while, we all have to calm down and man up.
Remind yourself that this is only a small chapter in your life, this stress will be a miniscule aspect in the long run; in the end it won’t really matter. Losing sleep over the future, is like getting angry at the weather. It will solve nothing. As Kascey Musgraves once said, ‘if you want to fill your bottle up with lightening, you’re gonna have to stand in the rain’. Third year is like standing in that rain, just embrace it…
So, to get me through this minor breakdown, I am going to blast ‘I Love College’ by Asher Roth – a classic from my youth – till my ears bleed and this essay is written…