When I first began this blog I aspired to enjoy my third year and to have adventures, and laughs, and make really great memories. So far, I have barely done anything. I now spend my time in the library with a packed lunch and a hot water bottle, listening to random documentaries while doing my work.
I have been told that this blog is depressing and believe me this really isn’t my intention, I am simply trying to tell the truth about life at university, and if I don’t tell the true then there is no point. I refuse to lie and say that third year is easy, that it is a breeze, because honestly it really isn’t. In many ways I feel like I am struggling. I feel like my mind has turned into a calendar, and I am continually thinking about how much time I have left, when my deadlines are due, and what I need to get done in the next week. I’m too scared to even look at my Filofax because I don’t want to see how much I have left to do or how little time I have left to do it.
I feel stressed, and I feel tired, and most of the time I feel fed up. Even though I am enjoying the work I am doing, it is the thought that my hard work will be marked, and the minute I press the send button on my assignment I have to have my hard work and stress over the assignment judged and reviewed.
The only way I can describe it is like a treadmill. I feel like I am running as fast as I can, but I’m not really going anywhere.
I went home for a week recently and it was amazing. I felt completely relaxed and the cloud of worries above my head disappeared, and was replaced with complete happiness. It reminded me that university is not the be-all and end- all of life. I am the first one of my family to go to university, and even though my parents or my grandparents didn’t go, they are still doing well and they are happy with or without a degree.
Yes, Third Year is shit. But I guess I am going to have to deal with it. I have to realise that although the next 6 months are going to be hectic, I will have to deal with another 60 years (I hope) of stress and chaos. If anything, university could be the easiest of stresses I will ever have to face.